Last Year,
"I am never good at goodbyes..."

Then this year,
"I don't really like emotional goodbyes..."

Don't know exactly how I feel,
kind of cheated I guess...
Why must they leave one after another?
I guess we tend to take for granted that these people will always be where they are....

Her, Right there on stage...
Him, Right there wearing shades and a tie...

Her, Right there with yet another piece of my failure, disappointed eyes, encouraging smile, and then whispering to me: "It's okay, I believe you can do it, do try harder next time..."

Have you any idea how I have never forgotten that moment?
Those words?
Have you any idea how I never managed to find that courage?
That gumption, to try again?
Have you any idea how I struggled because I knew I was going to disappoint you again?
Those nights.
Have you any idea how I never wanted to see those disappointed eyes again?
I wanted, and want to do you proud...

Why couldn't you have given me another chance?
Another chance to prove you right?
Another chance to live that moment I dreamt and dream of?
That moment where the joy in your eyes, can finally take the place of the disappointment I once saw?

How can you close the book like that without telling me it was the last chapter I was writing?

I am not good at goodbyes too...
Do you have a word that means "I am so sorry," "Thank you," "all the best," and "you'll be missed" all at once?

I certainly wish I have...