I have been trying to ignore it.
I shall deny it no more.

I know you feel it too,
maybe you share my exasperation and helplessness.

I have lost the oar,
I know the water is leaking in.
It shall all be over soon.
And I just want to get out of this confounded, god-forsaken sea

Why are you a friend in one, and a stranger in another?
I don't know you.

I am so tired

I don't know

Maybe I don't want to know anymore.

Haha, I really must find a word in replacement of "beautiful," tsk tsk, it appears to be overused, now that I have becomed increasingly conscious of its frequent though entirely subconscious usage. I mean....I had actually wanted to start off by going

" What can I say, today was beautiful, indeed beautiful..."

I paused.
Then realised to my horror that I had used the word whose usage has apparently extended beyond day-to-day conversation. "No, no, I tell myself. This can not continue...why do I have so many Lingual ailments?" Tsk tsk.....

Today was a wonderous day for me.

This is one of those sacred moments, where there is so much to say......
Yet nothing to say, for a common understanding and ineffable sense of joy has been shared and understood by all.

In short, we have attained a level of understanding that surpasses inapt definition.

I am glad.

"Everyday I grow in girth, and in the mind..."
Ernest Rutherford

Me too.

So much happened today, sadly, the night grows old, and my bed beckons. I shall give an explicit account of some of events tommorrow, including the unfortunate and unforgettable dunkings.

Chickens were marinated today.

Humans too------in the sea.

yummy

Finally, finally
I have the time to post, the past few days has been nothing if not pure hecticness for me...

Today was not a bad day though, it's funny how a day always turns out horribly bad when you expect it to be fantastic and fabulous when you least expect it to be.

Well, so today is one of those rare days. Well, it's a matter of perspective too I guess, your horizon of expectations as challenged or reinforced by past experiences. The trick would then be to smile and be happy about whatever is on the day's platter.

Satiated

Well, went for training today, and dry fired for an hour and a half......and boy was it strenuous. The thing about Air Rifle is that it really trains your mental and cardio stamina, well, I figure this augurs well for me because I definitely have to work on my concentration and focusing skills.
If there was something I truly learned today, it would have to be the importance and effectiveness of peer encouragement.
Well, I was overwhelmed with lethargy that threatened to send me crashing to the floor, in a heap. The mental exhaustion I grapled with, was sapping me of my last ounce of lucidity. I was losing focus like a helpless clown desparately trying to keep juggled balls in the air.

But lo and behold, just when I was seriously considering calling it a day, dear Debbie came to my rescue. Haha, no she wasn't wearing red undies on the outside, nor had she a glorious flowing cape. She had but a few words of encouragement to offer me:

"Hey, let's focus and concentrate on the shooting, if your mind starts drifting, put down your rifle...."

Simple. Yet it touched me, and gave me a sudden burst of strength, and motivation. Suddenly, I was fully awake. The rest of the training went on with unprecedented ease and blissful joy.

Three cheers for Debbie. You made my day....

Haha....I am so excited about the class BBQ too! It is not so much the fun, games and food.
Not about the much anticipated frisbee game,
nor the marshmallows(yum yum),
nor the chicken wing galore.

Afterall, it is not all about fun and laughter, peace and joy. This represents more than anything else, an oppotunity for us to bond.
Cliche, yes. But nonetheless veritably true.

I see so much potential in us, what we all can be as one.
Birds of a feather flock together....
we are not of a feather. But soar together we shall.
All hearts beating as one? Not possible,
but a beautiful rhythem we can create.
We are not of one voice,
just as any choir is... ...
The altos, the sopranos, the tenors and basses,
Together we shall sing, in a beautiful melody

I am ready.

When the wind hollows out the depths of the trellis,
chills the flickering flame that asphyxiates from within.
When it numbs my heart.
Do you feel my pain?
Do you see my agony?

You who stabs and nurses,
Why do you do what you do?
some wounds never heal

And there they come again.
Bombardment
And then they ask again.
W
W
W
It is the frustration I feel,
It frightens me.

I don't need questions
I want answers

Deep within, Far beyond, where the omega resides,
It bristles and bares
Feel the torrents of mad boiling wrath threaten to spill out.
Spill out from where all trouble begins.
It is the begginning,
but never the end

I want to scream
I want to spill
where?
How?

who?

Not one.
Not yet.

Wha haha...

Woke up late today, couldn't get my sleepy head off the pillow....haha, I guess cos last night I had only slept at 3.00am...heh. Was watching the PM's post-GE, speech.
Haha, after the tumultuous nine days, I guess one word summarises all that exhilaration perfectly.....beautiful. Yes, indeed, beautiful...

Well, so I missed the Wesley service, and went to the fcbc service instead. I must say that for the first time in weeks, I felt the covenant truly renewed.
Once again, I was reminded of my infinitesimal worth.
Once again, I was comforted.
Once again, I was touched.
Indeed, halleluia....halleluia, once again, I was tempted to jump for the Lord, and jump for the Lord I did.

And so, I went home in high spirits, particularly bemused. In fact, I was happier than I had been for weeks...hehe....but note...the word here is "was."
Yes, it was not until I had slumped down on my bed, taken a blissful nap, only to be rudely awaken from lala land by the impertinent thought that I still had a mountain of work awaiting me, that my spirits plumeted.
You see, I was having this beautiful dream of a garden on the clouds. Quite a stupid dream actually, the tree leaves were chocolate eclairs and the grass was actually french fries....haha...(must have watched too many cadbury advertisements.)
And so I was gadding about , nibbling here, and munching there when this enormous hand reached out from nowhere, grabbed me by my collar, and dragged me down.
Down, down, down before plonking me right in this jail-like cell where on this sinister table lay (unmistakably) the zuo ye, math assignment, chem bonding notes and what-not undone, and staring right back at me.

Gosh, the kind of nightmares that I have...
Hurumph,
just finished the Physics script, but oh calamity!! there's something wrong with the slides!!
sigh. Alright then, that's all for now,
hell awaits....

Beneath the calm, the storm brews... ...

I shall not get my umbrella out.
Stand in the rain I will

Stupidity? Maybe... ... but asses live happy lives.

I do so want to do something. Give me a voice.
Indeed, we may have a mouth, but not a voice.

People don't like to hear the truths. Truths are often ugly.

I want to jump into the rings of saturn,
slide past the cosmos
and through the over-arching Portals that herald my arrival.
Into the warmth that embraces...

In the deafening silence,
The great upheaval rampages, stomps on the covenant established in

the forgotten past.
I tear.

In thy wrinkled hands, the pope clutches the coveted sceptre.
Look into his pleading eyes.
It says: My dear archbishops, I need you.
Look beyond the concrete countenance,
into the weakness within.

There is so much we all want to say.

There is so much we can not say.

Ambiguity beckons
Solitude compels

I want to.

Give me a voice.

For now, I shall continue
To act in the eternal mime we are all trapped in.

facade

plastic

what can I say...?

Nothing I haven't said before.

.I am sorry.

Here it is....all over again.

Why? you are asking why?

How? you are wondering how?

Open your eyes all you blind people of a dormant disappointment!!
I can stand it no longer.

I care, do you?
And I haven't given up, have you?

Come on people!! What was all that about being one? For goodness sake, all we need is initiative.
I do not believe it is a matter of people "clicking" with certan people. If you want to know, it is precisely this attitude that all of us happily indulge in that is causing all this disparity.

To put it bluntly, what is all this bullshit about us being one?
But the root of the problem, the thing that plagues my thoughts everyday, is do we even care?
Why is it that everyone is blissfully ignoring the present state of the class? Do they not see?
And for those who have, now what?

There are 3 kinds of people.

The peacocks who are so shrouded in their feathers, and consumed by their own "beauty," that they fail to see that they can not fly, nor are they effective in defending themselves against predators. These peacocks flock together by the water's edge each day, preening their feathers, and seeing nothing but themselves.
They do not see.

Then there are the owls, who sees all, hears all and knows all. Hail. These are the wise ones who have eyes for that which is beyond what appears to be.
The owls sit.
The owls look.
The owls hoot.
The owls shake their heads.
Their feets however, stay safely and firmly to the branches in which they nestle comfortably in.
In the darkest of nights,
they hoot.....it's a call
a call
a cal
a ca
a c
a
E-c-h-o-e-s

the owls blink,
they sigh"I have done what I can, there is nothing I can do, nor anything to be done."

firmly-to-the-branches
they are the ones who see, yawn, and tuck their wings.

And here you have the sparrows.
"My dear sparrows, how are things?"
mr sparrow cocks his head.
the way sparrows do.
and mr sparrow replies " oh they are fine, never better....uh..is there anything wrong?"
my dear mr sparrow, you are the ones who don't even know...

exasperation

frustration

anger

I sigh.

Come people, let us sigh no more.
Let us be the Albatross---fish together, fly together

Let us truly, be one.
Embrace.

Mount vesuvius rumbles... ...
Plato, Aristotle, Democritus, Thales and Socrates are having high tea at the foot of the dormant giant...

Dormant?

Perhaps not...

Water fights and ball games in class,
broken toilet seats and all that fuss.
The dramamamas,
the lamo-lomos,
the shockingly studious,
the appalling slackers.

How varied...
Varied like the colours of the rainbow.

"We are one!" we say... ...are we?
Take a trip on the sun-soaked clouds,
I look at the spectrum, but where is the white that appears to be?
For Newton,
Newton broke white with a simple prism... ...will we?...or will we be?

Hear the laughter, feel the tension.
See the smiles, sense the grimaces.
I will see, I will... ... we will.

Green and orange splashes on the wall,
Homo sapiens of different colours waiting to thaw.
All for one,
and one for all... ...

This is
the begginning

6 more days to the ultimate... ...
The general election approaches, I am so excited!!! :)
Muah haha.
These particular elections would prove to be exciting, indeed, we see that the opposition parties this year have contested more districts than ever before, and already we see the sparks and feel the heat as the parties battle it out.
However, as much as I applaud the opposition's gallantry in speaking up, their disappointing case substantive appalls me.
One particular opposition party had blatantly pointed out in a passionate rally that:

1) Singapore has been said to have become a first-world country from a third-world country but this is not true because the happiness of the people are not met.
2) Our lives are not improved because we are still unhappy
3) We still have people sleeping on the streets and under bridges.

and on the account of this three points of arguments, they claim that the government should not be talking of the future, but of the present.

I find this laughable
Firstly, they should check out the definition of a first-world country. Also, the people might be unhappy, but it is undeniable that our lives have indeed improved since the times when we had to live in squatters. Where a small apartment houses 12 families, and water had to be pumped out of leaky taps in the market square.
Now, we enjoy the commodities and luxuries of a modern metropolis. It is inevitable however, that we have a minority of the people jobless, homeless and unhappy. However, isn't this true of all nations?
Aren't America, Britain and France first-world countries?
And yet they too have their group of "unhappy people who live under bridges."
Are they then considered third-world countries?
Don't all countries have their fair share of people whose needs are not satiated?
To expect otherwise would be to naively demand a Utopian society which is virtually impossible, at least in this world which we know of.
Besides, they pick out the flaws in the government, but can they do a better job? Look at their track record. We do not need people to pick out the nitty gritty flaws in the system, anyone can do that. The question is, after all that they have to say, can they propose a better system? It is crucial therefore, while we happily nod our heads to the beautiful pictures they paint, that we as educated citizens have to question that which they feed us. Indeed, at the end of the day, we are looking for the party that walks the talk.

Pebbles at the water's edge,
ripples they adore
In the glowing of the glorious sunrise,
Crowned, the lion roars

Majulah Singapura.